Love, Courage and Friendship
by H-Rose
Summary: Matt's anorexic, Sora's lost her entire family and Tai's gonna get kicked off his football team ... Plus he's jealous. And gay. SoraTai x Matt. Yaoi to come. Lolly. R and R appreciated when its nice.
1. Amidst the Tears

**A nice little triangle Matt, Sora and Tai. Heh, don't know how it will turn out yet ... guess we will have to wait andsee. ... I think that this might bea little confusing ... if so leave a review and tell me and I'll clear up what I can in the next chapter. Oh Shounen ai will probably feature later ...Yaoi, boy on boy etc. Consider this your warning.**

Disclaimer: Don't own Digimon or any songs I might use ... Grumbles 

**Amidst the Tears**

Matt slumped down onto the bed. He was exhausted and the sweat was rolling down his forehead and into his eyes. He wiped it away with his hand and stared up at the dirty ceiling. His breath came out heavily and he let out a low groan as he rolled onto his side. Concerts were getting so tiring now. Playing to thousands of people all screaming your name and then being mobbed on the way home by hundreds of screaming fan girls had its way of kicking all the life out of him. This was the third jacket he'd lost this month and he didn't dare look at what his hair looked like. Thank God Tai had been there. Matt grinned at the remembrance.

Tai had come out of nowhere flailing his arms and screaming even louder than the girls. In the confusion Matt had been able to slip away. Tai had caught up three streets away and helped him home. He was yelling to start with "Why don't you take a car, you idiot! You know what happens! A taxi, or even, even a bloody bus! Only 50 at most could cram on one of them." But then he had calmed down. Just as soon as he noticed how exhausted Matt was. Then Tai's arm was around him helping him limp on. He was full of ... friendly concern. Matt hadn't been able to say a word. Just a swift smile and a slight squeezing of the arm. But that had been all Tai asked for. He did all the talking. Talking nonsense, about football, university, the concert.

Matt's eyes closed and he sighed. Tai had left as soon as he saw Sora. Things had become ... difficult between them. Matt did not understand. A little voice in his head said that it was because of him. Tai had grown up. Well they had all grown up but Tai ... Then another voice butted in. No it's because of their "relationship". No arguing Tai had been gooey over Sora since their time in the Digiworld. He had seen it in the eyes. Maybe Tai had told Sora but she had refused ... Or maybe there was something between them. Matt groaned again. He hated these thoughts. He went round in circles. And always ended up in the worst place possible. He was confused and very, very tired.

Sora had been so worried. Matt's face grinned through the pain. His heart raced just a little as he remembered the kiss she had given him. Tai had taken one look at Matt and stalked off. Matt's smile faded. That had hurt. He hadn't said a word in farewell to either of them and didn't look back. Matt's hand came down weakly against the table top, in an attempt to relieve some of the feelings. He didn't want them to fight. It made him feel physically sick to see two of the most important people in the world to him, barely able to stay in the same room as each other. Sora had managed to get him to the stairs of the apartment block. He had wanted her to come up but she had to go to work. The florists was very busy these days and she had been threatened with the sack more than once. He could remember the concern in those eyes ... the love. His hand went to his eyes. Sora had looked back. Not like Tai. Tai. Round and around his thoughts went.

_My love is round and has no end, like the love for you my friend. _

He would fall asleep soon. He was so tired. He knew why he was tired, but he wouldn't do anything about it. Because he was a coward. He would fall asleep soon ... Soon. Amidst the tears.


	2. Amidst the Roses

_Ah thank you guys who reviewed so nicely.Glomps for all! Anywayz when I read them all I wanted to do was write some more but, alas I have too much workie. Anywayz here's Sora for ya. The next one will be Tai and then … who knows! Lol. __I don't really like this chapter so much but I thought you guys deserved some background. Hope its ok though._

_Disclaimer: Still don't own digimon or the characters._

Sora sighed over the bouquet in her arms. Roses so red, expressing love.

"I haven't got all day you know!" Came an angry voice from the other side of the counter.

"You wanted the whole bouquet Mr Havelock?" Sora asked bringing herself back to the present. The man coughed before taking a deep breath.

"I would like this bouquet, of your finest roses, sent to Romeos End in Ramsey Street with THIS personal card." He presented it as if it were the crown jewels. "Be careful you don't bend it!" He warned as she took it. She smiled a tight smile and placed the little envelope carefully in the roses.

"Our delivery boy is going out in about an hour so it should get delivered before the milkman."

"Good. Add it to my tab."

"Good." She echoed as he left the shop. Absent-mindedly she raised the bouquet to her nose and took a long breath. She could remember best like this. Her bouquet. Her roses.

An all day florists. You couldn't say that they were common. And successful ones like "The Garden" were almost impossible to find. Sora was used to the life now. She spent half the week sleeping throughout the day and working at nights and for the rest of the week she could get back to a more regular day when she could socialise. At first it had been hard to cope with such a strange routine but then … Well it meant she got time to herself as well.

She had no family now. Technically she was "all alone in the world." Except for friends. And Matt. All the family's money had gone to her, but she didn't want to use it all up yet. She was saving it for something special … Someone special.

That was when she had really found out about her feelings for Matt. Perhaps at the beginning it would all have been just a schoolgirl crush, but not now. Never again. Her family had died all in one go. No more mother. No brothers or sisters. Matt had been on a tour when the terrorist attack had robbed Sora of all her relations. He had been on his way to France but when Sora called him in tears he caught the next plane back.

It was then when she saw him on the doorstep, roses and chocolates in his arms, and his guitar slung on his back, and the most concerned look in his eyes. That was when it had hit her. Suddenly her heart was full and she knew, KNEW that there could never be anyone else. He had dropped it all and taken her in his arms and kissed her again and again. Telling her "They were all there for her. The Gang. They would look after her and she wasn't to worry and she could cry all she wanted and that they would all stand by her… He would stand by her."

She had kissed him. Fully. They had gone into the house and she had cried. Holding the roses to her face and laughing and then remembering what she had lost and weeping again. And he had stayed there with his warm embrace. His loving arms and his smile. He had sung for her. Sad songs and angry songs and all the love songs he had written. His voice had been like a drug. She just couldn't get enough. She would beg him to sing again and again, and he had. Even though he was exhausted. He had and the next day his voice had gone. He was supposed to have caught up with the band but he stayed with her. A week he lived under her roof. The gang came and went but he had stayed.

That had been about four months ago. Things with Tai were difficult. She had known about his crush but she couldn't ignore her feelings. Tai was a friend, a really good friend. But that was all. They hadn'tbeen actively avoiding each other though ... Not untilthat party.

Loads of people were there because it was Joe's birthday. His friends had been giving him drink and in the end everyone including Matt had ended up getting at least a little drunk. Matt had seen her and grinned. Then he had taken her by the hand and pulled her up onto a table. Then he shouted at everyone to shut up and pay attention before kissing her full on the mouth. She was so thrilled!

Until she saw Tai's face. It was hurt. And jealous. And … angry. He looked directly into her eyes and she winced at the ferocity of his feelings. She had hoped that he wouldn't be too upset, she didn't realise how much he must have felt for her. It made her heart ache and she had asked Matt to come away who she thought looked at Tai before following her to the bar. He had sobered up suddenly, probably when TK poured cold water all over them both. She was so embarrassed and everyone made so much fun of her that she had forgotten about Tai. But apparently Matt hadn't. He had gone after him. Next day she had gone over to see him. In one night he had changed. Now he looked so … tired.

That was when she had started to avoid Tai. She was angry. She could guess what he must have been saying to make Matt hurt so much. But it hurt that Matt wouldn't tell her. When she was being honest with herself, she knew that that was why she was angry. Still that was two weeks ago. Now Matt wasn't tired anymore. When she left him at the stairs of his flat she had been so scared. She had waited just a little to make sure he was ok. She heard him dragging himself up, whimpering at the pain. It had cost so much to go to work. But she had had to. Hadn't she? … But Matt hadn't. He had been on a tour, but still put it off. For her.

Sora's eyes began to overflow. She should have stayed! Should have told him how much she loved him, and that she would stay with him, like he had done for her. She would always stay with him. Her tears splashed down sadly onto the little blue envelope, smudging the swirly black lettering. But Sora didn't notice. She was lost, amidst the roses.


	3. Amidst the Memories

Ok Major thankies to Soratofan, Pinkypig, Rubisco and Prince Izzy1 for reviewing me! Sorry this is probably gonna be fairly short updates but I plan on updating fairly regularly so … that's good right? Not 9/11 more of a terrible mistake. Terrorism is bad when it's against military bases, or important national landmarks, but … well read on. It might seem unlikely but it actually happens sometimes. Anywayz artistic poeticness – ness? Me! YAY! Lollies for all. … Umm gotta admit my ignorance here though… Jouma? Sorry word I don't know. Don't throw dictionaries at me! Runs and hides. Enjoy now!

Disclaimer: Oh come on you know this by now. Don't own nothing to do with these guys.

_Harsh realities. New times. New feelings. __Walking in circles. Around and around. Thoughts and feelings._

He was running. What from? He didn't think about it. He ran faster and faster to try and escape from the thoughts that were threatening to engulf him. He would be strong.

Eventually he stopped in front of it. He looked up at all that remained of Sora's family, and their friends. All that remained of the town hall. These things happened. Madmen thought they were doing the world a favour by killing a few for the greater good. Then they'd get it more wrong than they could possibly imagine. They died for no reason. No reason at all. Just like their victims. No important politicians had been present. No secret discussions had been taking place. It was just a family gathering. A Birthday Party.

The town hall had been hired to accommodate the 40 different people that made up the family. Some of them had flown a long way to join in the 100th birthday party of Sora's grandmother. Sora's Godmother and her family had flown in from Germany. There were two children. One boy and one girl. He had met them once before on their last visit. The girl had been outspoken, but the boy was shy. Not anymore though.

But Sora had survived. Why? Because she had been with him. They were arguing. As usual. It had taken a while for him to realise his own feelings. What was their argument about? Like he could forget. Matt. Matt with his music. With his feelings of guilt. His depressions for no reason at all. He had so many people who loved him. And such a great voice. And what a body …

He straightened as he heard people passing behind him. An old couple with a little terrier. It growled at him as he reached out to pat it. The old couple watched Tai indulgently, as he stroked the lolloping ears. A kind of purr escaped from the animal. Tai grinned and nodded to them and went on his way. It was late and he ought to get some sleep. The club had a practise session early next morning. He had been playing badly lately. They were threatening to take away his captainship if he didn't pull himself together. He jogged lightly back to his own apartment.

He got a soda from the fridge and sat on the couch in front of the TV. He was going to turn it on when he saw the photograph. Matt and Sora. He was there too. In the background. Anger shot through him and without thinking he threw the can still half full can at the sneering photograph.

He spent 20 minutes cleaning up, deciding that after all he did have practice and ought to sleep. He was on the couch again. The bed was in the next room. Somehow it seemed too far away. The photo was in his lap. He looked down at it.

Matt and Sora. Both so happy. And him. Why hadn't Matt seen the envy eating up his "best friend?" Or maybe he just didn't care. Neither of them did. He held the photo close to his chest.

"You call yourself a friend Matt?" The words shocked through him with the speed of an arrow. He closed his eyes. He would not remember what he had said. It was too much. Not again. He had tried so hard …

"No friend would have done what you did! You know how I feel and you … you …"

Matt had grabbed his shoulder, trying to get Tai to face him. Murmuring apologies, begging forgiveness, pleading. Trying to hold his friend close. So … Tai had … He had … He groaned as if it were him who was wounded. The same hit to the heart that Matt must have felt.

Matt had put a hand to his chest where Tai had hit him. Tai turned away. On the couch Tai whimpered. He didn't want to remember the rest. No more he pleaded with himself. But his guilt, with a gleeful snigger, brought back his final words loud and clear.

"You're no friend Matt. You're nothing. Not to them. Not to Sora. Not to me."

He curled up into a tight little ball. Breathing shallowly. Kicking himself again and again. He had left even though his brain was screaming at him to go back to beg Matt for his forgiveness. It was he who ought to beg forgiveness. Not Matt. It wasn't his fault he didn't feel the same way. But Tai hadn't even looked back.

He lay there whimpering, amidst the memories.


	4. Oh oh

_I know I didn't update for a long time but I've been busy with work … like the rest of the world …¬¬; Sorry for anyone who was interested and pining for more info … Anywayz here ya go. _

_Anywayz R and R nicely and I'll give you cookies and/or Matt x Tai slush – or Sora x Matt fluff whatever floats your boat. Tell me who wants TaixMatt and who wants SoraxMatt? If you want someone else … Well tell me that too … Thankies to all the lovely people who reviewed me! You made me so happy! Here have lollys! _

_Oh and here's another warning - there is gonna be shounen ai, yaoi etc. (Unless lots of people tell me not to )_

_Disclaimer: I do not own these lovely and angsty full characters._

"Wake up sleepy head!" Matt woke with a jerk. Sora was leaning over him a broad grin on her face.

"Ummmm … Hello." He said blushing, trying to reach for the trousers on the floor … that were no longer there … "Have you seen …" He looked at her face. It was far too innocent. "Sora …"

"They're in the drawer." She said. They stared at each other for a moment.

"Oh! You wanted me to get them for you, right." Slowly she stood and walked to the drawer taking out a pair of jeans and some briefs. She put them on the bed. They stared at each other again.

"Fine." She said standing and walking out of the room. "I seen it all anyway. Your duvet fell off in the night." She heard a yelp and a thud as Matt fell on the floor and snickered. "Only joking."

"Thanks for cleaning my room Sora. I really appreciate it. He wrapped his arms around her in a tired embrace. She smiled and looked up into his eyes. They stood together for a little while before Sora kissed his lips. With a little squeeze Matt pulled away.

"Don't you have a shift tomorrow? … Umm later?"

"Yeah." She sighed, stopping herself from kissing him again. "I should go home and sleep." Matt saw the look she gave him but pretended not to.

"Yeah you wouldn't want to fall asleep at the tills eh? Not with the way you snore I mean."

"Hey!" She started tickling him playfully until he taken up in the game pushed her down by mistake and they found themselves on the floor. Sora's heart began racing. Perhaps he would. Her eyes closed a little and her lips pouted almost by themselves.

Matt looked down. He wanted to kiss her, it was so obviously what she wanted but at the same time. Suddenly he could see Tai's saddened face. Matt kissed her on the forehead and rolled off her. Laughing nervously.

"So when can I see you next?" Sora stood confused and a little hurt but shook it off as she looked into his anxious face.

"I know. Let's go to the cinema on Tuesday. Just you and me. And we can go shopping!" Matt laughed.

"And what makes you think I'd do that hmm?"

"I'll bribe you with cookies!"

"You think cookies will buy a whole day of my time huh? When I have another concert on in a weeks time?"

"Chocolate chip cookies, baked with love …" She said enticingly.

"You win." He hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "See you at the mall."

"Have you lost weight Matt?" She asked as she prepared to leave. "You feel thinner y'know." And with that she left for sleep. Matt stared after the door and then went to the full-length mirror that hung in his bedroom, which was now, thanks to Sora, beautifully clean. Slowly he raised the jumper he was wearing over his head and let it fall in a heap at his feet.

He had always been on the scrawny side but now his ribs protruded from his chest. He fingered them gingerly. When had he last eaten? Last night? The day before? Why wasn't he hungry? Slowly he put his jumper back on thinking about making a sandwich but he just didn't want anything to eat.

Suddenly he felt something in the back of his throat. Feeling nauseous he stumbled into the bathroom and began to wretch over the bowl. Nothing came up, except for a painful gurgling. He felt his muscles contracting again and again but there was nothing there. Eventually tears streaming he collapsed on the floor exhausted. After a few moments he blacked out.

Tai kept hammering at the door. "Matt! Matt! Let me in! Hey Matt!" Suddenly the door caved in under his fists and he fell to the floor. He looked up expecting Matt to come and yell at him but he couldn't hear anything. "I know he's in," Tai thought, "and I've been knocking for 10 minutes and he's usually a pretty light sleeper … Maybe he's in the shower …" As he thought this all kinds of images filled his mind. Blood began pouring out of his nose.

He started swearing under his breath looking for tissues. Holding his nose tightly he made his way to the bathroom where he stopped dead. Matt was there in a little heap. Tai watched as Matt's chest rose ever so slightly before lying still. He felt his heart pounding and his mind seemed to be filling with fog.

What was going on? Panic gripped him. Tai leant over rolling the body around so that he could see Matt's face. Blood dripped from his nose and splashed Matt's cheek. Absent-mindedly he grabbed some tissue paper and dabbed at his nose. Matt looked wrong, obviously, considering he had apparently fallen asleep in the bathroom. But that was insane. He must be unconscious.

Tai straddled him to get a better look. His face was drawn and the skin under his eyes was discoloured with tiredness. As Tai lifted Matt's head tenderly he stared at the face, which had been haunting his dreams for the past weeks. He put down the tissue, his nosebleed having stopped almost as quickly as it had started. He was just about to wipe the blood off of Matt's face when a noise made him start and look around. Sora had just walked in with a look of horror on her face.

Her heart almost stopped. She had decided to come back to Matt on the pretext of having left her jacket. Sora had started yearning for the warmth of Matt's body almost as soon as she left the flat. It was only when she was half way home that she knew she wouldn't be able to sleep. So she had turned around and walked back. The door had been wide open. For a moment she thought Matt had heard her coming up the stairs and was about to jump out at her, but he hadn't. As she walked into the bathroom she found out why.

Tai was on top of Matt, his arm lifted to Matt's face, which was smeared in blood. He turned to her with a worried face.

"Sora I,"

"You bastard." He stared at her incredulous. Had she really just said that? "You couldn't leave him alone could you?" Her voice was dangerously low.

"I was just,"

"Not one word Tai! Not one word." Tai stood up, carefully lowering Matt's head to the ground. "What have you done to him?" He stared at her feeling his anger rising, couldn't she see Matt needed help right now? That there wasn't time for a personal fight. He opened his mouth and spat

"I thought you didn't want me to say a word." She strode forward and slapped him around the face, the sound lingering in the air.

"How dare you? How DARE you? You've got no right to hurt him like this. It's nothing to do with him!"

"It's everything to do with him." She slapped him again on the other cheek.

"What's happened to you?" She asked, barely able to suppress her anger. "You've changed Tai. You've turned into a total and utter bastard you know that? Since that party … What did you say to him?" Tai's hand had raised to his cheek automatically where he fingered the mark she had left on him. Then he pushed past her.

"Matt needs an ambulance."

"But he doesn't need you!" The words tore through him with the force of a bullet. Was this how Matt had felt when he said those things? The shock was so much he was barely able to move. Forcing himself to walk, he reached the phone and dialled the emergency number. Sora had been watching him but quickly turned to Matt who was lying on the ground. She knelt beside him staring at his face. At least the hospital was so near that it would take barely any time for them to arrive she thought. Barely ten minutes on foot. She looked longingly at Matt's closed eyes, willing them to open and focus on her. But they didn't. Slowly she began to wipe away the drying blood. It didn't seem to have come from anywhere, there was no bruising. As she puzzled Tai stepped behind her.

"I came 15 minutes ago. Matt didn't answer the door so I kept knocking. I must have been knocking pretty hard. The door fell open. I got a nosebleed. I came in here and found him. Some of the blood spilt onto his cheek. That's what happened." Sora was silent for a moment before she asked in a voice of ice.

"What did you say to him, after that party?"

To Be Continued … (One day … ¬¬)

In manga this always seems to be happening and I think it's a funny concept. Plus I get nosebleeds at the randomnest (no not a word) times … like the shower … So this has a little meaning for me … Umm sorry you probably didn't want to know that … Heh heh heh …;


	5. Finally

_Well Here we go! About time n'est pas? Anywayz enjoy the Taito. Lolly. Oh and look they have ages now! Heh heh …__Disclaimer: These guys aren't mine. I merely hijack their bodies and minds. Oh and Be warned of the Shounen ai. _

Matt raised an arm to cover his face from the sunlight. It was pleasantly warm and he could hear the breeze coming through the window. He didn't have a window. Matt's eyes snapped open.

"Well?"  
Tai was sitting there. He was smiling at Matt through the tears that had spilled. Matt sat up so quickly that Tai instinctively leant forward to him.  
"Matt." Slowly Matt raised his hand to wipe the tears from Tai's face. His eyes closed and he rolled his cheek into Matt's hand. Matt blinked surprised and suddenly Tai's eyes were open and his face was growing warm to the touch. Tai stood and turned, wiping his face.

"Good to have you back." Matt felt a little charge of disappointment as he let his hand fall back to the bed. Affection from Tai did not come often.

"Why … ?" Matt's voice was hoarse and he raised a hand gingerly to his throat. His hands touched a chain of silver. He looked down at it and felt something twinge in his stomach. It was Tai's chain, the one Matt had given him for his 20th birthday. Tai had turned.

"Why? Why didn't you tell me?" Matt's forehead crinkled in puzzlement.  
"Tell you what?"  
"Don't give me that. Why haven't you been eating?" There was a very long pause while Matt thought.

"Here." He was fiddling with the clasp at the back of his neck but Tai stayed his hand. Another long pausewhile they looked into eavh others eyes.Matt leant forward a little not quiteaware of what he was doing. Tai felt his hands aching to twine themselves aroundhis neck and to lean inslowly and ...

"Tell me what's wrong." Tai said as steadily as he could closing his eyes trying to block out his instincts. Matt sighed and looked away.Eventually he leant back on his pillows forcing himself to relax a little. Tai was his friend ... His ...best friend. He'd understand.  
"It's … Sora."

Tai felt his heart plummeting. The tears that had so recently stopped threatened to fall again. He nodded stiffly.  
"You can tell me." But Matt had been looking around taking in the hospital and most importantly perhaps, the nurse who was walking towards them shaking her head smilingly.  
"You should have come and got me when your friend woke up Tai." She said as she came up to them. She was attractive, with long blonde curls that bobbed as she walked.

Tai looked on annoyed at the interruption.  
After 15 minutes of routine questions and examinations Tai's patience snapped.  
"Is this really neccessary? Can't I just take him home?" The nurse grinned wickedly.

"Well I daresay that you will have some privacy when you get home and it does seem that there is nothing wrong except lack of nourishment. Luckily this hasn't been going on very long so as long as you promise to start eating regularly and healthily again, you can go and enjoy some special time with your beau."  
"Tai's not my beau." Matt said blushing.  
"Well you certainly fooled me!"He's been drooling over,"  
"Great, thanks, grab your clothes Matt, we're GONE!" Tai shouted drowning out the nurses words. She sniggered as Matt stared at him and Tai blushed yet again.  
"Well fine. Just take your "friend" for a meal before bedtime. Oh and don't tire him out ok?"

After grabbing a take away from McDonalds on the way back, they had eaten in near silence, neither knowing what to say, but as they entered Matt's flat, via the new door Matt brought up the courage to speak.  
"Listen Tai, you've been really great but,"  
"No you listen Matt, I've been in hell trying to understand what could make you so miserable and the only thing I can think of is," He took a deep breath. "It's what I said to you isn't it? After the party. It's my fault."  
"No Tai!"  
"Well what else could it be!" Tai's voice was full of anguish and Matt heard it reverberating in his very soul."You said it was Sora but she's crazy about you! She ... she loves you! You have hundreds of fan girls who worship the ground you walk on and friends who adore you. And then there's me." Tai's voice crumpelled in on itself. "There's me."  
"Yes." Matt sounded a little dazed, but continued "That's the problem." Tai looked up completely stunned. Tears filled his wide frightened eyes. "You're the problem Tai." Matt repeated slowly, wrapping his arms around himself, tears tricking down hischeeks. "You see ... I don't love Sora. I love you." He took a deep breath keeping his eyes averted. "It took me awhile to realise but ... whenever Sora kisses me I think of you. You ... make me whole Tai. Damnit, I'm gay! Sora's wonderful but you ... Everything we've been through together it,"His voice suddenly gave out, and he sobbed into the wall. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I know you love Sora, I should have told her, but,"

Tai strode across the distance in a matter of secondsand pulled Matt stunned into his chest.  
"Matt." His voice too was choked with emotion. Matt looked up and they came together in a long passionate kiss, slowly slipping their arms around each other.  
"My Matt." Tai laughed into Matt's cheek, the tears falling from two pairs of eyes. "My beautiful Matt. It's you, you fool. Always you."

_To be continued ... Yaoi to come ... Lolly._


End file.
